Oct 8th, 2008 | Pakistan | 8 Comments
Last night, some terrorists succeeded in planting three time-bombs in the Garhi Shahu area in Lahore, an area that is 4-5 kilometers away from my house. Thankfully, nobody had died until the last update.
I had to turn on the idiot box (after many months) to catch the live report, and was lucky enough to witness the uber-intelligent reporters standing inside the shop that was destroyed. Using their extremely intelligent brains, and standing on top of the scene of the blast without caring about forensic evidence, they decreed that “The bombs were planted to create panic in the common citizens”.
I think they are wrong, and I have an alternate theory. It involves the terrorists’ big boss telling them to → continue reading
Sep 29th, 2008 | Life | 1 Comment
Each blog has its own micro-zeitgeist (that’s a word that I just made up, or neologized) that gives an insight into its place in the larger scheme of things, and this one is no different. Like most of the human race, I like to look at my Google Analytics data every now and then, perhaps as an aid to introspection, or perhaps because they look very pretty. Looking at the search queries that bring people here, I see some queries that have an answer/solution here, and I hope that the inquirer had to look no further. There are queries that I could have answered in a closely related post, but chose not to, and there are queries that make me wonder about the inquirer’s mental health. There’s also a lot of raw material and leads for possible blog posts, but that’s for real bloggers, not me.
Since I have a few free minutes, let me share a small slice of search strings with you, in decreasing order of popularity, and the replies-that-never-were… because I have nothing better to do.
→ continue reading
Sep 18th, 2008 | Pakistan | 19 Comments
I never thought I would waste ten thirty minutes of my life praising our new president, but I just have to write this one. This post on Karachi Metblogs is criticizing Zardari’s comments in the visitors’ log of Jinnah’s tomb on his death anniversary. Though I secretly hope for a day when discussing the Pakistani President’s language skills becomes our only concern, but we have to solve a lot of more fundamental problems before we can focus on developing the desi version of Bushism.
The blog also shared this scanned image of his comments, which says something like:
May Good give us the strut to save Pakistan. Asif Ali Zardari, President, Islamic Republic of Pakistan.
Zardari Comments
I think there are many possible reasons for this ‘writo’ and I believe that we should forgive Zardari for this writing “Good” instead of “God”. You see…
- He was not typing it, and hence, did not have a spell checker handy. When was the last time you wrote a complete sentence using a pen? (for me it was many years ago). This shows that he may be a l33t geek in disguise who relies on the underlined red lines too much.
- He has written either ‘Gaad’ or ‘Good’ - if it is ‘Gaad’, he was either in his l33t mindset, or he wanted to emphasize the word but lacked the tools (bold/italics) to do so, and used the long ‘aa’ as a last resort. If he used ‘Good’, then he was probably trying to translate one of Allah’s 99 names to English. I’m pretty sure one of those names means ‘Good’. This shows that he does care about Islam.
- He did not use Allah, as these days, the word has negative connotations, thanks to our terrorist brethren. God is a more neutral and ‘enlightened’ word. After all, the American Army top guys are visiting Pakistan these days, what if the next visitor signing the visitor book is one of them, and what if he gets the wrong impression? We must appericate his foresight and attention to detail.
- Good, God or Allah, the important point is that he capitalized the G, and that, my friends, is the line that separates a believer from a non-believer, or so I have been told many times. So Zardari strives to be politically and religiously correct.
Even though the above is enough to start respecting Zardari, we are not done yet. The second word that he used, and one that has been misquoted as “strength” by many people, is actually “strut“. Let us check wikipedia for the various meanings of ’strut’.
A strut can be
- A structural component designed to keep two other components apart. Struts provide outwards-facing support in their lengthwise direction, which can be used to keep two other components separate, performing the opposite function of a tie. That is a beautiful analogy! It doesn’t take an engineer to see what Zardari is trying to say. Not only that, but a strut can also mean
- to walk proudly and with a bounce. and pride is one thing that we need, if we want to save Pakistan.
The above is conclusive proof that Zardari picks his words carefully and has a good command over the English language - good enough to make puns and say a lot in a few words. On top of that, I am assuming he can speak Urdu and perhaps Sindhi equally well, which makes him a trilingual. Now you tell me - how many languages can the US, Chinese or the British leaders speak?
Oh yea, one last thing, he loves his deceased wife so much that he still carries her picture everywhere he goes, even when he is on TV. Brings tears to my eyes really.
Apr 22nd, 2008 | Etc | No Comments
I would have written a witty comment here but I’m too busy LOL’ing
Click here.
Apr 20th, 2008 | Etc | No Comments
I have just discovered a quick way to beat any game that involves virtual currency - thanks to a request to me by a certain “leetkiss” on a freelancing website. I am very impressed by leetkiss’ understanding of reusable software patterns and C++ Interop and the clean code that he writes. He has written most of the software and is only missing one small piece now - one that he wants to outsource.
Even though I am too busy to take up his project, I am thinking of buying the program from him, once he gets it developed, so that I can be rich in the few MMORPGs that I play.
Here’s his complete request, please leave a comment if you can do this for him and I will get you in touch:
Hey
I want a program made, that can do the following:
The program will be called “Game Cheater” and It will make a troublesome PC GAME easier to win by helping you find the memory address where a desired quantity (like amount of money) is located so ou can change that quantity.
The program will find a hex address based on the input parameters you set and edit these addresses to my desired quantity.
Example (changing the money variable in a GAME from $50 to $999999999):
Call changeMemory(search_string, replace_String)
Call changeMemory(”$50″, “$999999999″)
It needs to be a .DLL file ( C++ )
I need to be able to use the DLL in my VB6 program. Here is ALL of the source code from my VB6:
Private Sub Command1_Click()
search_string = “$50″
replace_string = “$9999999″
changeMemory(search_string, replace_String)
End Sub
